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 Troubles of Life

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Lord_Niohoggr
Wee lil hatchy
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Number of posts : 81
Age : 30
Location : Hungary
Registration date : 2008-06-20

PostSubject: Troubles of Life   Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:52 pm

I've been thinking... Yeah, I do that occasionally too much.
I am here, as myself more or less. I am here with my wants and needs, feelings that are somewhat out of place considering my status quo.
Where to start... I am not angry, though I do feel kind of blue right now (- when am I not?). I just fel as if these thoughts in my mind that have been pacing back and forth so long and so many times they've carved a deep crack, need to come out in some way. I chosen you all, perhaps you'd listen. And I hope all this is going to have a good place here.
It has been long since I have awakened, but even before I felt somewhat strange. about this. I don't feel anything around humans. Nothing more than to a body with no face save for the clawful who I care about. Nothing. I am lonely, have been lonely in the Past, due to reasons beyond me - but now I have the opportunity to change that. In theory. In reality, I can't take a look in the mirror. I don't hate humans. No, it's just that I don't feel as if I belong to them. In any way; yet I see a face unfamiliarly human in the mirror. It brings my heart sorrow, and makes me think in the meantime. How could I say to a human "I love you." With a straight backbone? Without thinking of someone else?
Lust! Disgusting.
I truly believe in the heavenly beauty that is true love, but ... To see clearly is to come down to Earth. What I cherish, is not present. Instead hidden, or false as some treacherous wermin. And for me? Being cursed with Distance from all who I know, and all who truly know me equals utter isolation. In the meantime... My heart is full of love, it's going to waste day by day. I wonder will there ever be someone who I can give my heart full of love to?
Many say, I have to wait. Though my body ages, my soul does not. I have given my faith in the hands of time long ago. But will it lead my true? Will it not be selfish and take my best years? Or is it the other way? Should I care not of any of these?
Blasphemy! Stupidity.
I could never do that. I'd rather die. Which might be coming soon enough anyhow. It's just that would dying alone really hurt? Would it be a mark, a dark patch on the soul forever to have not felt love and the love of the other at all? would it be a reason to curse and long after this opportunity?
Some say love has no boundaries. In a way that is true. It may reach after the gaps between lives, but in a way it is indeed limited. Being so controversally limited and limitless it is the one thing that may send this drake on his knees. So simple, yet it can very well be the meaning of it All. But now... It seems so distant. As if only a fading image that the sunburned in my eyes and it disappears when the dusk end and darkness falls.
Scales, wings, snout and tail!
I long for those who don them. For when we gaze into eachother's eyes, I might say this with a straight backbone, proudly "I love you."
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Kill`us Rap'toratus
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Location : Surprise, Arizona
Registration date : 2008-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Troubles of Life   Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:10 pm

That is quite deep, Don't fret over pitiful lust/love attempts received, as they are all fools, Eventually you will find someone that will love you as much as you love them.
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Lord_Niohoggr
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Number of posts : 81
Age : 30
Location : Hungary
Registration date : 2008-06-20

PostSubject: Re: Troubles of Life   Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:28 pm

Thank you.
I certainly hope so.
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